I am a married woman, but i dun feel like im belonging to anyone.
My task is to give birth and look after kid and clear up all the mess.
Whenever i see couples holding hands, i would start to think, "when was the last time u held my hand?"
And whenever i see them kissing, i would wonder, "how does ur breath smells like and how does ur saliva tastes like?"
Such humilation i cant possibly able to go thru again and again. My tolerance level for you have raises each time you broke my heart. Tell me, when will be the last time i stop tolerating you and just give up and go?
You wan me to believe and trust that you are faithful in this marriage. But how? We dun do anything like a couple nor did you ever look in my direction and smile at me. Seriously, i dun believe a single shit you swear. I only believe that you dun love me, you have no interest in me, you have someone else, you are fucking her very frequently.
Lying on the same bed, i felt more and more miserable. Its good to have Jayr in between us. At least i dun need to bother that you are so near yet dun bother bt me.
I am so sick to blog about how good you are and whatever you have done for us. I am very sick. Because the real fact is, i am not happy with you and us at all. I felt that you are just using me to get all you wan. This house, these expensive things in it. You are using me for sure.
You dun want this baby. You dun care at all. You never ever even ask bt this baby at all. Den why the fuck make me pregnant?! I dun wan as well! I dun wan anymore labour, anymore confinement, anymore pain! I have this house to pay, this son to raise, i cant afford another one! If you never really like it den why must i go thru more hardship for this meaningless event!
I have sacrifices so much. I have put down so much. What did i get? Are they all worth it?
If not for this baby inside, i am bringing Jayr together away from you for goodness sake. Or maybe, i shld have go thru legal procedure to make you leave!
You dun love me ya?
You know what?
Me NEITHER!
Jacky's Wife