Jayr is soundly asleep now.
And im drinking.
YA! I AM DRINKING BEER, CAN?!?!?!
Think after so much miseries, alcohol is all i needed the most right now. Maybe ciggies too, but nah, i loathe the smell now. I prefer to drink and feel the tipsy-ness and allow myself to float in my dreamland. You think this bottle of beer can do any good enough? Of cuz not! But, as a mother, what can i say? Given a bottle is already the greatest reward so far. If, im saying IF. If im given a chance to choose, i wanna down with many glasses and bottles and den puke all i can and den continue to drink and drink and drink until im numb and "dead". And tomo i'll have more courage to face the reality. whatever.
Im just losing myself.
Loneliness is hurling within me.
Taunting and stabbing deeply into my soul.
Tears are welling up in me.
Drowning my faith and confusing me.
Love is slipping away silently.
Mocking my foolishness and betraying my believes.
Im crying.
Im screaming.
Im begging.
Im hiding.
Im running.
Im searching.
Im losing.
And finally,
Im still lonely.
(After so much dramas and all, i wonder what did i derive? Nothing. But more sorrows.)
Grant me death.
Jacky's Wife