.Thursday, February 26, 2009 Y
Im still feeling unwell :(
Got the flu bug from my dearest men, as usual. Im always the last one to get sick. When they were feeling terrible, i was the only one looking after them and served them. And now, my turn, but no one is there to look after me or comfort me. Instead, i still have to force myself to stay alert and look after Jayr. argh. fucking unfair!
Think my silly boy got an unusual fetish. Foot fetish! Lol. Whenever he sees my toes or hubby's, he would crawled quickly towards them and den intended to "taste" it. eeeuuuuu! If we move our toes, he would be more excited and screamed. *roll eyes* dunno what sort of interest is that. lol.
You know, im craving for salmon. hur hur. Usually i have no liking in that pieces of orang-ish meat, but now i am like dying to eat it! funny eh.
February ending soon. March is near. And den April.... And den i will be counting down to the day when i am finally free from this shithole! hohoho!
well, nothing much actually. gdbye :)
.Wednesday, February 25, 2009 Y
Hello Earthlings :)
I know i have been missing for some days, again. But well, am too tied up with certain things, u see.
Ok.
Went all the way to Funan IT mall to get my new "baby". hohoho! My beloved MacBook Pro, i finally gotcha! They are like having some good deals over there, so thats y we went there instead. Upon purchasing this, we got a $200 voucher to be spent within that shop, thus i decided to get Ipod Nano for hubby. hee.
Actually he wanted the Ipod touch so badly, but i refused. And we somehow had a huge arguement over that. Well, i have my good reason to forbid him owning that. But im not gonna mention it here. Mayb i can give u a clue - Wi-Fi.
Back to my baby. I chosed a red see thru casing for it and den they gave me a free red keyboard protecter too. woosh. I doesnt fancy red that much, but its just too bad that they doesnt have pink casing for mac.pro. Anyway, i promised to take pics and den show everyone alright?!
Btw, i splurged 4k+ on this. hur hur.
Ohwell, i have tons of pics to upload but i din have the time to do so. paisay la. I know u ppl misses Jayr so badly. Without realising it, do you know he's turning one real soon? haha. Wont be able to celebrate for him at new house (cuz not ready), wont be holding chalet. But i wanna get him a gold chain with pendant. This i promised Jayr already. But! When he turns 2, i think i will hold a party at my house. yeah!
p/s: i am totally idiotic when comes to this. still learning how to use this "pro" thing :(
many times during arguements, we'd tend to say some thing that is what we really have been suppressing for long. It could be hurtful, could be touching. But what do you really wan that party to believe, to understand? To believe that you think he/she is bad? To believe that you are tired of everything?
They said, ppl tend to say hurtful things during arguement, and that mostly they dun mean it. However, during the procedure, i find it so true and so real. That the pain is so sore and my sorrows so mistreated.
After all the heartache you put me thru, and all the lies and everything, how am i supposed to not fear and fight the phobia? This is marriage now what we are saying and im aint gonna risk it like this anymore. The only way to make it better and avoid more nasty words exchange, is to avoid those things that will cause a war.
.Wednesday, February 18, 2009 Y
Chatted with my dear gf. We always ended up with endless gossips or girly stuffs. Well, thats what i adore the most. However, it seems to be drifting further and further away from my life somehow. Like ever since i stepped into the world of motherhood, there are many things i've been missing or even totally lose touch with. How sad. (With no name mentioned.)She told me she's like having crush with this guy. (i dunno shld i put it this way, but ya, crush. haha) Den she hasn't got the gut to "befriend" with him. Den the kpo me was like telling her to go for it and this and that. Sort of encouraging her to take the first move and hopefully things will turn out the way she wants it to be. So, the rest leave to her to continue her destiny, and me continue kpo-ing. haha. What i actually wanna talk abt is, when i was single den, i didnt have the gut to confess or take the initiative too. Like i would be afraid that he might think i am the sort like too easy-going and shameless kind. Nobody wanna leave an bad impression to someone they like. So that was what pride i cared about the most. Now being in a marriage; being tied down. There is no more chances to go for things you like, u see? (mind you! im not saying that i have some other dick in mind ok) Like i have to go the way that meant for me to take. I have to stick to my vow and loyalty. I have to know my rights as a dutiful wife and all. Turning back and recall, i have been missing and forgone alot alot alot of chances. ( and im not saying men only) And i think, i shld have seize most chances and make good use of them. Unlike now, im being totally tied down by kid, chores and stuffs, i cant do anything nor go anywhere. Therefore, when single girls or women talked to me bt their life and stuffs like this, i would sincerely advice them to brave it through. Cuz who knows, one day u may turn back and regret u didnt seize that tiny chance. And haha, (dirty talks again), once u're married you will be stuck with that same dick for LIFE! So why not "experience" watever u wan, or whatever u like... wahahahahahahaha. p/s: i have been stuck with this dick since day 1. (-_-") its too late to think of experiencing. you wanna be like me??? No? Den dun hesistate to go for the guy u like. But remember the word, "Refrain". Dun cross the line. Remember what i've always stressed abt, women pls save some dignity for urself. I can hear you ppl asking, "den how? initiate or not? huh?"...... Everything with moderation. hohoho!
.Sunday, February 15, 2009 Y
I am craving for siew mai!!!And i wan those from Toa Payoh. There is this shop, the signage says something like, "Tiong Bahru Bau........." But im not craving for their baus, all i want is their siew maisssssssssss. *drooling* Not cheap lor! One small thing costs 60 cents each. 5 costs $3 liao, and not filling somemore. But i still wan them. hohoho.Thats all i wanna say.Bye. Lol.p/s: i am in a relationship, but im not in love. why?
.Saturday, February 14, 2009 Y
What have you received from ur loved one?How many stalks of roses he gave you?Where did he bring you for candlelight dinner?I can see he has put in lotsa effort for you. And for this, i envy you. (So i dun see the reason why must you always envy me?)It has been 0987654321 long since i last received pressie.It has been 1234567890 long since i last held a bouquet of flowers.It has been 1029384756 long since i last ate something nice and in peace. You see the effort and sincerity? You envy me? (*middle finger*)I think, it doesnt matter what ur man give you, its the effort and thoughts that counts. Like even if he's poorer, its ok if he give just a card, with lotsa of love and affection in it. Or it doesnt have to be a big bouquet of flowers, even a stalk of rose can brighten up ur day. Giving something is better den NOTHING. It somehow has the ability to make the woman feel that she's being loved and treasured. Like a voice telling her that she's being appreciated and not forgotten. Well, but what if a woman received NOTHING?She would definitely felt so disappointed and hatrad started to boil up in her. After many years of efforts and sacrifices, you mean she worth NOTHING?! But, do you think the man cares? NO. He somehow or rather think that this woman dun need anything on this day. When he had decided not to give anything, he have already made up his mind that this day is not for them. When the woman kept mumb, and he would think "its ok". As many "purposely-forgotten-occasions" passed by, the way he treat the woman is as if 理所当然. So, like i've said, whats the point of tying down when there is no such rush or need to do so. Men will treat women this way sooner or later, and thats after marriage. During courtship days, if they choose to ignore any special occasions, smart ones like us would know what the do. Leave. Whats there to hold onto when you know he doesnt treat you as anything?! C'mon, save some pride for ourselves. Do not lower ur value bcuz you think you cant live without this bastard. But if you're in a marriage, too bad den, wait till he start some flithy affair out there den you leave bah. *roll eyes*I know im not being appreciated.
I know im not being loved.
I know i worth nothing.
All bcuz this wasnt the first occasion that was purposely being forgotten!
- All birthdays! (except 21st)
- All V-days!
- All anniversaries!
- FIRST wedding anniversary!
- All chirstmas! (but i dun mind this)
Thanks. I know where i stand now.
.Thursday, February 12, 2009 Y
- Thinking of getting (buying or borrowing) a interior design book for self reference. Professional advice is always the bestest.- Very busy almost everyday. Very tired when i finally have the chance to stay home and rest all i can. Therefore do not expect me to forfid my only lil precious resting time. - ATTENTION!I need a home based job. Like i dunno whether you know anot, but there is this kind of home based handicraft job or whatever they called it. If you happened to know and got this link, PLS, tell me so. Thanks a million! Or ANY home based job also can lah.- My temper is really bad lately. Easily agaitated. Like a mad lioness. whatever. Im sorry for...... flaring at you darling.... muacks.
.Wednesday, February 11, 2009 Y
Phew~ Have ordered and paid deposits for many items already. Like tv, refrigerator, washing machine and bed. All these are the main items and the most expensive ones. The rest can still wait. Sofa, still looking around.__________________________________The damn Valentines' day is round the corner. AGAIN.I better dun think bt it or even look forward to it. I better focus my mind on Jayr will do. Bcuz, it just gonna be ANOTHER disappointment! whatever~ *roll eyes*Have you ever seen such a copycat?Like she finally found herself a bf, and den now she behaves and make her bf behave like exactly me and hubby. The way i talk to hubby, the words i often use, the gestures.....The worst!>>>She made her mum to cook the dishes i often craved for when i was having Jayr in me! And den she selfishly ate it all by herself and her man. And den she said loudly, "i "pregnant" ma, thats y i got this craving..." (-_-")Well she's not preggy and she only with that bf not even a month!And and and, she ALWAYS wear what i wore when im preggy. siao!See? i've told you!I dunno why on earth i always met this kind of mad copycats. Totally disgusted.p/s: auntie came liao. hohoho!
.Sunday, February 8, 2009 Y
Feeling somewhat moody lately. Lack of sleep and lack of nutrients, i think. hur hur. CNY is ending soon. Anyhow, its boring and no fun at all. Just like normal days. And ever since cny, everything seems to be going on slow pace and the atmosphere is so dead. wth. Went Ikea yesterday noon, had our lunch there and den walked around. Saw something super freaky- Cow Skin. (its huge!)They actually skinned the whole cow nicely and the skins are like still "in shape". Can roughly tell from the outline which body parts they are. euuu! Who the hell will get that as their house carpet?! Someone did. Some crazy monkeys were like so serious carefully choosing the right ones for their home. It costs $399, if you not know. crazy right? Poor cowsssss! They got skinned, and den chopped and sliced into sections, the bones for soup base and all.... wth! *puke*I thought this is never allowed anymore??? oh god. pls do something to stop this cruel act.Ok. You might be thinking that everyone eats red meat and still somehow an indirect way of killing. I gotta agree with this. If being a 100% vegetarian can reduce all the sins, i would rather be one, seriously. I once asked my dad bt this, and of cuz he objected. As a parent, he would worry bt my growth and sufficiency nutrients intake and all. (and i was a weak baby since little) Den now, another man, which is my dear husband, he will never allow me too. He's worry bt my health and strength. lol. Well, but den, if given the chance and permission, can i really make it to be a 100% vegetarian? Like sometimes i will still crave for seafood or chicken rice. And thats sometimes lah. And what if im preggy again? confinement leh? somehow red meat is still a lil important in our diet hor? Anyway, i eat very very lil of red meat, very lil of white meat, and a lot of vege. hoho!p/s: "auntie" supposed to come yesterday, but den.... LATE AGAIN!!! wth.
.Friday, February 6, 2009 Y
Mayb becuz im too used to have hubby around for many days. Now that he has to go back to work as usual, spending most of his time over there, im feeling quite a lil lonely and uneasy... argh. 2-3 more months, and i can be freed from this shithole. Sounds real soon, but it seems like 3 yrs... I cant wait to run to my "Paradise"!Sometimes i wonder what makes 2 to make the insane decision to get tied down. Is it becuz like what all naive ppl says, "we love each other and we wanna live together forever..."???How long is F-O-R-E-V-E-R???If forever is what you think as = living together till both lay in coffin, seperately. How sad.In my opinion, nowadays many ppl get married becuz of baby. If there is no VALID reason den i dun see the reason why. Both can still be together as long as they are in love and comfortable with each other. For as long as they wan, or move in together also not a problem at all. But why the reason get married becuz you wan a status or certification? haa. Like i've said, this is merely MY opinion. Both can be together as long as they'd love to, and den go seperate ways if any regretted "mishap". This is what i think, the best way.In marriage life, even if one having to go through torments and untellable sorrows, she still gotta endure and suffer in silence, for the sake of that f-ing holy marriage or her poor kids. And den no matter how hard she tried to protest or fight for her own groung, her f-ing man just wont bother, cuz he already has that kinda mindset that this woman have no place to go and no way to threaten him anymore. So happy or not, she has only one choice.In relationship, any shits from him, any unforgivable dugs, she could just throw back stones and den "run" for her life. Never have to go through legal seperation procedure or paying that bombing fees. And never ever have to endure those bullshits for life! or FOREVER!Find another man that treats her better. Crazy for her. And horny for her is very important too. Dun laugh. You cant deny but to agree with me secretly right? (i see you nodding ur head)Anyway, above all is MERELY MY THOUGHTS.
.Wednesday, February 4, 2009 Y
HOLA!!!These days i've really no time for myself and my bed, let alone saying this bloggy. I do miss everyone, and i miss blogging. I have lotsa pics to show you ppl, but i haven got the chance to upload neh. hohoho. So till then...CNY is not as bad as i thought. Cuz i managed to shun the incident i dun wanna meet. Went to lotsa temples to do offering and hope all the deities and heaven will look after us and our wallets. hahahaha. huat ah! Places like Loyang Toa PeiKong, Sembawang Cai Sheng Ye, Bugis Guangyin Temple, etc... However, i have still one more place to go. My Nanny's place. argh. Mayb one day i will bring Jayr there on my own, as Hubby's leave will end today. Oh btw, main reason im away for so long, is because Hubby took a looooong leave lor! So like everyday we went out till night den come home. Where got the energy to blog?! These days we went around to survey and order our new nest's "babies". Have already paid for a Samsung's lastest LCD flatscreen tv. They are giving away free goodies that i think we can save quite alot. As for refridgerator, have a few in mind, still cant decide yet. Washing machine, i am quite fussy lah. I want it big and min 7kg, but price must be good also wat. Microwave leh, maybe get one quite matching with the fridge. haha. Hubby want me to get the juicer, sandwiches maker, blender and steamboat.... wa lau. I only thought of microwave, rice cooker and kettle. lol. Men are more demanding when comes to electronic babies. *roll eyes*Bed is the most most most important THING i care. Must get a king size one. Hard one. Chio one. Lasting one. whahahahaha.ok enough of my house talk. (btw, i have found a very suitable contractor liao!) Nowadays Jayr is super active and when i finally realised, he's already a big boy! 10 months passes like that. He makes funny faces to make me laugh. If we say shhhh, he will hiss too. If he hold a comb, he will bring it to his head and trying to brush those few strands. haha. He loves to draw out wet tissue and den wipe his own legs or face. When he got excited, he will scream very loudly till everyone turn around and look at him, den he will smile back at them. lol. This lil vainie loves the mirror. He's very friendly and not afraid of strangers. Any tom, dick or henry can carry him or play with him. Sometimes when someone play with him, he will pretend shy and den look down, legs and arms straighten and den the eyeballs will still try to take a peep at you. Very strong. Very greedy. Very playful. Very hyper. Very fast learner. Very observant. Now that when we hold him, he can walk faster and faster. Just dunno when he can really walk on his own without aid. Think i have gained back some weight during cny. nabeh. Eat non stop sia. My red hair starts to change colour too. Sibeh knn. Red always dun last. wtf. But i love the shade leh. mayb shld bug hubby to buy me dye again. hehehe. Anyway, when i mentioned that i wanna dye red, many many copycats went to do the same thing. see? as i have predicted right? And some even chosed the ugly red. lol. wish them luck. Dramas! I have finished the 2 seasons of that kissing show. haha. Now im watching a new drama, also acted by them, Ariel Lin and Joe cheng. (Love and Bread). Go youtube and watch too ok!p/s: Jayr is the centre of attention, everywhere we bring him to :)
Jacky's Wife