.Thursday, November 20, 2008 Y
you might be thinking its not a problem, but sadly, i thinks its a huge risky matter. i've tried many ways. i'd talk to abt it. but all to no avail. many was wondering why am i behaving so moody lately, when my life is so blissful. well, i dunno how to explain and i dun wan to say much bt it either. its nothing "serious", as in we are very well, apart from this issue. maybe all i need is assurance? maybe i really desperate to know the truth behind? or maybe i should give u more time. but how long more? 3 more years? i am running out of patience. i am going insane. that thing is not a thing itself, it has got to do with the biggest role. it is so important that if you minus it away, everything will turn sour. u see? and that is not the reason why im arguing bt this just bcuz i need it or whatsoever. But u cant blame me for having those thoughts and wild guesses, when u, dun even wanna talk abt it! its like, simple logic and mathematics. anyone, any wife would think the same way as i do. i dun wan it to fade away like this. i dun wan things to get worst. i dun wan. cuz i wan you, to be my husband, my lover, my lifetime partner forever. but i also dun wan to continue with this way of living. u wan me to understand, but have you ever try to understand how i feel? it doesnt matter as long its not abt third one. but how am i to trust with such treatment? i dunno how to trust. i dunno. its not fair to me at all. i dunno where i stands. i dunno whats going on on the outside world. i am so lost. i felt so lousy and humilated. its not supposed to be like this. im not supposed to feel this way. it takes two hands to clap. i am like working hard alone. im tired. my limit has reached its peak. i need to know. i must know. and that explains why i only voiced this out after so many years. i am understanding and trying very hard.
Jacky's Wife