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Hello my dearest earthlings...
such a long day, and all day long im babysitting this brat and doing those hasty chores. Oh, wat a life! I wanna be tai-tai, but not this kind of tai-tai. hai.
Anyway, im here to blog some thoughts and personal opinions bt life and marriage.
Hope it somehow helps a few out there. Reason why i wanna talk bt this today is bcuz i have quite a few who turned to me and sort of confide to me bt their feelings and problem. And, i've got to say that, this kind of love matter all started with somewhat same roots.
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No pin-pointing. No hard feeling. Im not refering to anyone.
Maybe something bt myself. True life story.
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Everyone enjoys courtship days. Those passionate kisses and hugs, sizzling hot sex, romantic atmosphere, sweet talks, full attention, blablabla...
And den one day, when the man started to misbehave abit or somehow hurt the woman unintentiously, and this is the start of nasty arguements.
Eventhough after the mad kisses and crazy sex, the woman appeared to forgive him in a way, but its not! She hold grudges and the falshes just kept running in her brain like a movie. And den mayb now and then when the man said something wrong or done something against her rules, she will start raking up the past and den sort of drawing chain-diagrame in her brain, saying that he did that thus now he do this will link to that... U know? This is absolutely unhealthy.
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If she thinks that she couldn't accept the fact that he have done that in the past and sort of hurt her, den leave him in the first place.
Since both have come so far and choosen to be together for longer, den my advise is to learn to let go of the past. Since u have accept his apology and made up after that, den stick to ur words, forgive and forget. Unless he repeat again.
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If he have made a huge mistake and hurt her badly, so much so that she wanna give up but still couldn't let go, den dun give in to him and have sex. Bcuz, having sex with him means he is the winner again. U get what i mean? Men have this kinda thought that when the woman allow him to fuck her, means the woman needs him desperately and also he is the king! They thinks that sex can solve all problems.
U cant deny girls.
Think abt it, whenever that was an arguement occured, after his apology or even before he apologise, did both of u have sex? YES. I'll answer for u.
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Its common to feel jealous over his past gf or angry over some trival matters, it normal really! But do not quarrel with him bt that again and again. Think abt it, has it got anything to do with u den? When he was fucking with other gf, u were having ur happy time with other bf too right?! SO.... what's the problem here?! Dun let ur sweet romance turn sour bcuz of nothingness, my dear girls...
I have been thru these. I was once naive. I was being ridiculous then. But now i know i was wrong to do that.
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Do not compare. So what ppl's bf or Hubby treats them well. So what ppl have diamonds and u have none. Its not important. U never know their true story behind. Mayb he hit her and den buy her things to shut her mouth, and all u sees was he bought diamonds for her! Most important is, he loves u wholeheartedly, being honest to u, loyal to you, cares for u, worries bt u, kiss u, hug u, support u, even in bad times he will also make sure u have enough to eat and wear. This is called love. This is something noone can see with bare eyes. Only u can feel it with ur heart. U know, dun envy others. Dun let the jealousy blinds u, and close ur heart. U have to control ur thoughts, feelings, mind, and open up ur heart to accept his overwhelming love.
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Dun fuss, when u think he is no longer the sweet sweet lovery dovery man u once adored. It is very normal when a relationship reach certain stages. Really. Relationshio has got stages. U have to pass one by one and finally to the peak- marriage. First 3 months, very sweet and crazy over love. 3 to 6, start to argue over different points of view. After that, u know la, all sorts of pattern came out. But after abt 1 and half yr, things starts to cool down and not so tense anymore.
Its really pointless to yell at him and ask him why he never kiss u when he came in the room, why he never say "i love you", why he never make love to u like he used to, why no this no that!!!!! Enough!
If u wan to be with him forever, wans to marry him, den u will have to stop these. Bcuz the more u argue over romance thingy and sex, the more he will shun. He will find it pressurise to kiss u or have sex with u. He will also think that this is longer a sexy and mysterious thing anymore. Thus, losing interest. Too much talk abt sex is no healthy too.
U know, when both are married and have chilld, he wil have more responsibilities and so much things to stress abt. So dun expect him to remember to do those things. He will still do so, but mayb not as often lor.
He has a way to prove u his love. He will turn into a more mature big man. So do not expect him to remain like a high school young chap, who all day long think abt sex. lol.
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Being in a marriage is aint easy at all. Unlike courtship, not happy can leave. In marriage u have to think more den twice. U have to consider clearly. U have to endure many things which u didnt have to in that past. U have to close one eye, or even both. But first thing, u have to learn to avoid those meaningless arguement. It doesnt help at all, will only worsen ur love life. And control whatever that is coming out from ur mouth. Keep those harsh words to urself. U think u can just erase his pain by saying sorry? No. Same thing goes to u right? So learn to control ur inner voice, ur thoughts, ur feelings, ur anger, ur mind.
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I have been through hell and heaven.
All these were part of my life once... I made it a point to "talk" to myself. I have to change in order to live happily ever after.
If i can do it, den i dun see any reason why u cant.
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But, main thing is, make sure he is the one u love. The Mr Right for u.
If he is just one cracked brain rascal that u cant get over, mmm........, pls get over!
lol.
I know its aint easy to do so. U have to try before giving up ya.
Dun let them bastard think they are the King. My foot!
Since u cant be their forever love, den be their forever regret.
This kind of love wont last. But the regret will stay with him forever and ever. The pain and guilt will taunt him. Let him suffer the shits he put u through.
At least, this is a good way to remain in his mind forever.....
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Maybe its better to remain this way den be together?
Trust me, in this way u can keep him forever.
Eventhough he is ur friend only.
But if u insist of having him, u may not keep him forever.
U wont get to see him anymore.
This is a very sticky matter.
But den, its forever and once, to choose from.
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U need good friends to be there for u and listen to you...
Dun be afraid to talk abt it.
Not healthy to keep all to urself.
Cuz depression can kill.
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What is so complicated bt love that all of us are having big problem with it?
Why is it more confusing den eat, sleep , shit?
Jacky's Wife