.Sunday, October 12, 2008 Y
Im actually very lonesome in life.Or maybe i actually have no much ppl in life.Besides Hubby's off days, im actually all alone. Noone to talk to.Nobody to joke with.Noone to eat with me.Noone.Ya, i've got Jayr. But i need an adult to talk with, to understand me.I need to feel that someone will be there for me.I need this assurance.Men doesnt make a good listener.And their opinion usually arent what we women concur.But if he would just try to be there or listen up,i wont feel such a depressing way now.Well, actually, i dunno what to voice out either.Its something. There's something in me that trying to ruin my mood each day.Many factors.Im alone.No family to go back to.Penniless.Helpless.Losing confidence.Everyday doing the same things.Im tired.I cant tolerate this unhygenic environment.I cant tolerate the stinky smell.I cant tolerate the amount of dusts.I need my man to hear me out.I need him to caress me more.I need someone to treat me babyish like my dad did.So what?nothing will ever go my way.I felt so useless. so helpess. so selfless.I have sacrficed so much. Done so much. Given so much.But why i received none?I've never ask for repay,but at the very least,stop all my sufferings.I love Hubby.I wanna him to love me wholeheartedly.I love Jayr.I wanna him to know i love him very much.I swear upon my life that i will not let Jayr to go thru what i've been thru.I will never treat him like how my mum treated me.I will never leave him in lurch.I will forever cherish him, caress him, love him, provides for him, teach him, tolerate him untill the day i lay in coffin.I swear upon my life again that i will never betray my love for Hubby.I will never treat him the way my mum mistreated my dad.I will never betray his love for me. I will forever be his lawful wife. Dutifully love him, serve him, obey him, caress him, give him, tolerate him and be there for him till the day i reach the other side of the world. Even if you leave first, i'll still continue to be ur lawful and dutiful wife. "I'll meet u when my chores are thru. i dunno how long i'll be. But im not gonna let you down. Darling wait and see. And between now and then, till i see you again, i'll be loving you.... Love me..."However, if, im saying if.If our love dies even before we aged, and if u're gonna betray my love and fuck around,all these swears will just vanish into thin air and never able to retrieve back.This is a fair game.U love me, i'll love u more.U fucked up my love, i'll fucked up ur life.Im just a very insecure timid girl inside.
Jacky's Wife