.Friday, October 31, 2008 Y
Just came home not long.Hubby was on leave today. Didn't go far cuz Singapore is just another boring country, and everywhere is just like the same. No matter how hard organisers or government stressed that so-and-so shopping mall is so much bigger den others, but den in the end all shops and brands are like so common and about the same. Staying temporary at Tampines now, a location whereby u can get anything u wan just here! So what for make the tedious trip to so far away, in between must handle Jayr's craps, and den back here again, with so many things to carry plus a pram and diaper bag. Same goes to those who's staying at amk. AMK Hub has got all the things and brands u needed, and needless to worry bt meals too. Well well, if all possible, i wont even wanna sell amk house. Such a good venue that everyone envys me, but den too bad la, house too eerie(cuz those ppl stayed there before), location not suitable for Hubby's working hour... Jayr started his craps all over again! Must be the teething la. But what can i do, other den applying teething gel on his gum and also give him more water. He dun wan to drink his milk at all! I dunno whats the main reason for the sudden lost of appetite. He have missed 2 feedings already. I am so helpless. how? But den when i tried to give him vege and fruits puree, he ate that. Hubby said mayb bcuz weaning never hurt the gum, whilst drinking from milk bottle actually hurts his gum alot by sucking the milk. Which i think is true, cuz he will suck but den after while he just cried so loudly and kicking so hard. hai... it aint easy at all to be a stay-at-home-mum. My 2 men loves to mess up the room and den i am like never free from chores. wth. And den now that Jayr is super active and crappy, i really have no time for chores, for food, for sleep, for myself. Can u imagine i am handling these all ALONE? very very very xin ku.... but i cant give up. neither can i close my eyes and ignore everything.Bought Mother & Baby magazine, as usual la... Den there is this article talking bt this mum who clamied that she had 11 miscarriages before she successfully become a mum! why is heaven so cruel!!!! babies are innocence!!! 11 is alot ok! and her first marriage even failed because her ex-husband couldn't take the heartache and den ended up piling himself with work, and den they have lesser time for each other, and more arguements instead. So eventually their 10 yrs marriage ended like this. very sad right?! she lost 11 babies and a husband! But after that, she met her current husband, sad thing was, she still had few miscarriages. how sad!!! and den if im not wrong, she flew to london to cure her problem. So at the very end, now, she have given birth to a 3.2kg baby boy. well, at least after rain there is still rainbow eventually. So, u must understand that there are so many ppl trying very hard to have one, or hoping to have their very own baby. But i dunno why there are still so many who have choosen the most cruel act to solve their irresponsible problem. U can give me stupid reasons like,"oh, cuz i know this is for my own future's goodness sake.""erm, babies are monsters.""how can 2 tied down bcuz of baby?!" "i am not ready yet, and i have no money."fuck all.U wanna have sex, u better know the consequences. If u cant handle a baby or this small stress, den dun have sex la! very song is it? i know, but this aint a simple and easy matter ok! if both dun wanna get tied down like this, den might as well dun be together for the sake of sex. There is no such thing as not ready. No matter how poor we can get, we can still afford to raise a baby ok. Just dun abort. If u think u still dun wan the baby, den dun have sex. Or if u still think u cant resist sex, den use condoms at ALL TIME. arrrrgggghh!!!!!I am now in a very poor state. But we can still afford to give Jayr the best. At least, we never let him starve, and we dressed him enough. I am starving everyday. Eat very little. No more make ups, no more heels, no more branded things, no more facials or spas..... But everything's worthwhile. When u are feeling blue, ur baby's smile will definitely brighten u up so easily. I know i know. Many are now saying things like, "starving everyday??? serve u right la. u wan baby den u have to suffer lor!"yayaya! i wan my baby! i never have the idea of giving him up at all! when i got preggy we were so excited and even thought of names already! So what i suffering now? I know many years down the road, when i turn back and recall, i know i wont have any guilt or regret. Instead, i am very proud of myself. I didnt know i can actually handle this all alone. And i didnt know that, my son can be so adorable and smart! Touch my heart and my conscience is clear.Seriously, use condoms. I know very turn off to stop for 1 minute just to wait for him to put on that "deflated balloon". But think for the baby, how many or how many more u wan to kill? very very very cruel ok. VERY!I know its so easy to say la. I also never use. i admit ok. But den, if u have been reading my blog, u should know my Hubby is so kan jiong of having another one. I am the one who refused, cuz we are still not at the right time. Financial wise is still not ideal. When next yr we got our house and i have some income, den we will have one more! heeheeeheee.....
Jacky's Wife