.Friday, October 31, 2008 Y
Just came home not long.Hubby was on leave today. Didn't go far cuz Singapore is just another boring country, and everywhere is just like the same. No matter how hard organisers or government stressed that so-and-so shopping mall is so much bigger den others, but den in the end all shops and brands are like so common and about the same. Staying temporary at Tampines now, a location whereby u can get anything u wan just here! So what for make the tedious trip to so far away, in between must handle Jayr's craps, and den back here again, with so many things to carry plus a pram and diaper bag. Same goes to those who's staying at amk. AMK Hub has got all the things and brands u needed, and needless to worry bt meals too. Well well, if all possible, i wont even wanna sell amk house. Such a good venue that everyone envys me, but den too bad la, house too eerie(cuz those ppl stayed there before), location not suitable for Hubby's working hour... Jayr started his craps all over again! Must be the teething la. But what can i do, other den applying teething gel on his gum and also give him more water. He dun wan to drink his milk at all! I dunno whats the main reason for the sudden lost of appetite. He have missed 2 feedings already. I am so helpless. how? But den when i tried to give him vege and fruits puree, he ate that. Hubby said mayb bcuz weaning never hurt the gum, whilst drinking from milk bottle actually hurts his gum alot by sucking the milk. Which i think is true, cuz he will suck but den after while he just cried so loudly and kicking so hard. hai... it aint easy at all to be a stay-at-home-mum. My 2 men loves to mess up the room and den i am like never free from chores. wth. And den now that Jayr is super active and crappy, i really have no time for chores, for food, for sleep, for myself. Can u imagine i am handling these all ALONE? very very very xin ku.... but i cant give up. neither can i close my eyes and ignore everything.Bought Mother & Baby magazine, as usual la... Den there is this article talking bt this mum who clamied that she had 11 miscarriages before she successfully become a mum! why is heaven so cruel!!!! babies are innocence!!! 11 is alot ok! and her first marriage even failed because her ex-husband couldn't take the heartache and den ended up piling himself with work, and den they have lesser time for each other, and more arguements instead. So eventually their 10 yrs marriage ended like this. very sad right?! she lost 11 babies and a husband! But after that, she met her current husband, sad thing was, she still had few miscarriages. how sad!!! and den if im not wrong, she flew to london to cure her problem. So at the very end, now, she have given birth to a 3.2kg baby boy. well, at least after rain there is still rainbow eventually. So, u must understand that there are so many ppl trying very hard to have one, or hoping to have their very own baby. But i dunno why there are still so many who have choosen the most cruel act to solve their irresponsible problem. U can give me stupid reasons like,"oh, cuz i know this is for my own future's goodness sake.""erm, babies are monsters.""how can 2 tied down bcuz of baby?!" "i am not ready yet, and i have no money."fuck all.U wanna have sex, u better know the consequences. If u cant handle a baby or this small stress, den dun have sex la! very song is it? i know, but this aint a simple and easy matter ok! if both dun wanna get tied down like this, den might as well dun be together for the sake of sex. There is no such thing as not ready. No matter how poor we can get, we can still afford to raise a baby ok. Just dun abort. If u think u still dun wan the baby, den dun have sex. Or if u still think u cant resist sex, den use condoms at ALL TIME. arrrrgggghh!!!!!I am now in a very poor state. But we can still afford to give Jayr the best. At least, we never let him starve, and we dressed him enough. I am starving everyday. Eat very little. No more make ups, no more heels, no more branded things, no more facials or spas..... But everything's worthwhile. When u are feeling blue, ur baby's smile will definitely brighten u up so easily. I know i know. Many are now saying things like, "starving everyday??? serve u right la. u wan baby den u have to suffer lor!"yayaya! i wan my baby! i never have the idea of giving him up at all! when i got preggy we were so excited and even thought of names already! So what i suffering now? I know many years down the road, when i turn back and recall, i know i wont have any guilt or regret. Instead, i am very proud of myself. I didnt know i can actually handle this all alone. And i didnt know that, my son can be so adorable and smart! Touch my heart and my conscience is clear.Seriously, use condoms. I know very turn off to stop for 1 minute just to wait for him to put on that "deflated balloon". But think for the baby, how many or how many more u wan to kill? very very very cruel ok. VERY!I know its so easy to say la. I also never use. i admit ok. But den, if u have been reading my blog, u should know my Hubby is so kan jiong of having another one. I am the one who refused, cuz we are still not at the right time. Financial wise is still not ideal. When next yr we got our house and i have some income, den we will have one more! heeheeeheee.....
.Wednesday, October 29, 2008 Y
How funny some ppl really have no idea bt simple manners. U go to one's house, and first u have to knock on the door and den self intro right? Not burge in and leave ur shit there and den say goodbye right?!Ya. See my Cbox and u know what im talking abt. Do i know you? Did u ask for my permission to leave ur "shit" here? Or maybe i shld leave some shits on ur website ya? U know, pay me and den u can jolly well advertise all you wan!!! My blog is for me to write all shits i wan, for my friends to read, for my friends to communicate with me. Not for you ppl to abuse and misused. I dun wan here to be some rubbish dump whereby tom, dick and henry comes and leave their shits here or talk some nonsenses. U dun know me, thus u dun understand me. Reading bt my stuffs doesnt me you know me very well ok. And this shows that u really dun know me, cuz u have no idea how i will react when someone messes with my thing! especially someone i dunno. I'll keep those nasty words to myself for the time being. Cuz who knows, u might really be someone i know, but after reading this, i bet u dare not admit. Its too late to ask, too late to apologise. So, shut up and make sure u stop doing this. This aint a place for a birdie to drop its shit. ________________________________Why is this hot hot weather back again? Something is wrong with this universe. Like everything has totally changed. Supposed to snow but didnt, earthquakes, and all sorts of nature disasters. End of the world?Have you ever thought of, what if this day is coming soon?Lets imagine...The news reported that in 7 days time, this Earth is going to "die", and that will gonna be end of the world. What will you do? what u wanna do? say? prepare? arrange? etc???And also everybody need not have to work anymore, thus all shopping malls are open to all and free to grab anything you wan. (Guess going to die soon, noone will be so kiasu still ba)Let me start first... (o-O)?- I will look for the most beautiful wedding gown to wear for that day
- I will go and eat whatever i always wanna eat
- I will go to temple everyday and pray that I will still be with my family when i reached "there", and only my family
- I will pray that i will never meet those knn ppl again over "there"
- Get the best toys for Jayr
- Nicest clothes for Jayr
- Get Hubby his favourite games
- Get Hubby a Hugo Boss suit
- Get him a Hermes briefcase
- Get myself a 24 carat pink diamond
- Get as many as thousands of red roses to fill up the whole house
- Many more la.... cant list all..
hahahahahaha!!! 24 carat!!!! greedy hor? but not ok... When im living i dun get to enjoy the luxury. So when im going to die and given a chance to have what i wan, den why not?! I wanna die in the bed of roses. I wanna die wearing wedding gown and Hubby in suit. I wanna be with there forever. But i dun wanna meet those evil ppl again anymore. Thats suppose to be my paradise, isnt it? Or maybe get more paper products, so when the earth explode, those paper things will burn together with my body. So when i die and reach the other side, i'll still have many assets!!!! hahahahah! smart alec~! I must remember to burn passports and aeroplane hehehehe!!!
Ok. done with my daydreaming. Whats urs? Go think think, since u're so free sitting there and reading my lau ya blog. Go go go!!!!!
:p
.Tuesday, October 28, 2008 Y
Weather is freaking hot lately.Imma snowman, and im gonna melt!!!You know, u can try putting a slice of cheese into ur piping hot bowl of instant noodle. Very very very yummy!!! Highly recommended by mama Ines :)One slice aint enough at all, so i added in 2. Those cheese lovers can try 3 or more? lol. Leave it in there awhile and u can see it slowly melting on top on the noodles. Eat them while hot! Ask me why this sudden insane creation?!Cuz im sick of eating instant noodles and cup noodles. gottta think of a special way to make me love it. lol. And we just bought twin packs sliced cheese from NTUC. hee. Da yi ma came today morning. wth. so tiring and so torturing. My tummy so bloated, i thought i gain weight again, but no la, water retention. lol.Bb is in his walker now. I turned and looked at him, and he smiled at me. so sweet. Like, seeing him from a distance, makes me realised that how much my son have grown. I browsed thru his infant photos and i really felt so touched to have him. He is really my precious baby. Despite making me mad most of the time, but i still love him so so so much!Mayb one day i shall post the east coast pics. already in lappy. But not today la, so tired already. forget bt those past overdued ones, cuz too many and i dunno where to start with. might as well continue with new ones. Jayr loves watching Mickey Clubhouse, Hi 5, Clifford the red dog, but his favourite character is the Donald Duck, cuz whenever Donald appears, Jayr will be so excited. Funny quek quek loves quack quack. ok. gtg and accompany my lil darling.
.Monday, October 27, 2008 Y
Ordinary day.You know........Dun ask me how was it. Dun ask me any nuts bt it. Unless something screwed up in ur pea-brain, and making u unable to understand my simple request. Just dun bring this up.No fun, no nothing. Just plain boring and ordinary.I know i shldnt complain, but i cant help ranting abit in my dear diary can?U ppl shld be more den happy to receive even a small card or whatsoever. Sheng zai fu zhong, bu zhi fu.Mayb things will be better on our 2nd one. Cuz by then we will have our own nest. And even if, im saying if, we are still so tight and unable to buy pressie, i can still cook up a splendid feast to celebrate and enjoy the day. right? shit place, shit things, shit everything!I read my previous entry. And i think i forgot to say, my hubby will bath for Jayr, feed him, make him sleep, sing him lullaby eventhough i told him better not to *, change his soiled diaper, blablabla... :) I dun think most men will do these. Mayb they will carry, play, change wet diaper, feed and fix milk. Other more "tough" jobs, they arent capable at all. thats my personal view. anyway, i dunno to be upset or happy now.whatever.*he cant sing at all, but still insists to sing for bb.... (-_-)
.Sunday, October 26, 2008 Y
How time flies...And very soon, i am already being Mrs Quek for a year. Still remember vividly what exactly we've said for our vows, and what happened throughout the big memorable day. This scenario always flashes in my mind. When the solumiser started reading to us, and made us say after her, tears just rolled down our cheeks. I dunno what his reasons, but from there, i knew that our love is very true, very strong. He is the first in my many things in life. And first one i've ever imagined of marrying him and have our own family. We have been through so much. So much pains, laughters, tears, love... And those days, our stubborn-ness and bad temper caused us so much miseries and pains. Many things which i hoped we could undo them, but impossible. However, as years passed, we have grown up to a more sensible adults. And these makes all my hardships and tolarance worthwhile. Ask me what so marvellous bt him???He is the only male whom i find have alot of patience, on me especially. He could wait for me for 3 long hours to knock off from work. He could sit there quietly and let me cry or rant all i wan, and after that he has his way to comfort me. (which rarely anyone can talk sense into me.) He could go all the way to buy my favourite food and brought to my amk house for me just to make me happy. He surprised me here and then with roses or pressies. He could just appear right at my doorstep if i needed him, even if its at wee hour 3 am!!! Bring me around singapore for good food. Hold me close to him, outside or at home. When im angry, he will pacify me like im a baby, hug me tightly, kiss me many times, act funny to make me laugh, wipe off my tears... Kisses me every morning, when he leaving for work, when he came home, before he sleeps, and when he begging me to let him play game. lol. We discuss bt every lil thing. Even like what to wear, wat to bring, what to do.... He respects me and i respects him. Most importantly, he is a perfect Daddy and Husband. He carries the stroller, diaper bag, shopping bags, climbed up the stairs and still plastered a smile on his face. :)He woke up at anytime to fix milk for Jayr.Wake up an hour early to play with Jayr before he start preparing for work, and also to let me sleep awhile longer.He clean the dustbin, cuz i hate to do so. He is willing to help out with housechores.Many gave us their warm blessing and regards, some didnt. Some assumed that young ppl dunno whats love and whats responsibility. Some even "predict" and said that this aint gonna work out in the end. But to "some", we are so much more responsible den u. We know so much better what is love. We know what is require to work this out. We are more den willing to sacrifice all, to achieve our sweet lil family. But u? if u know nuts bt it and if u arent doing any good examples, den pls just shut the fuck up. U are the most likely to fail again and again and again. 27th Oct, which is tomorrow. The very day, one year ago, when i trust my whole life to you... Our love is growing stronger, no doubt. However, with the situation now, i dun hope for more or anything. As long as i see the sincerity, im contented. Although this is the very first, but what to do? We have a lil one to consider of. well, we have many more ahead. Golden year, platinum year, diamond year, etc.... hahaha... Ohwell, so end now. We are going to east coast now.Jayr cant wait anymore!!!Hello Mrs Quek!!!
.Thursday, October 23, 2008 Y
Went down to pass the agent bunch of keys. He said Jayr is so much like more den 9 months old. And den Jayr kept smiling at him and "talked" back when that agent was actually talking to me. bua tahan... He said "wow! u slimmed down alot leh. from L to S ah..."I said, "haha. how u know so exact?!" After that 4 kilos gone, i lost 1 kilo only. And den now like stuck here again. nabeh. Damn fat still la. but hubby said he like it this way cuz, got boobs and butt. (-_-) abit flabby here and there nevermind. as a woman, who can tahan flabby-ness??? right?Just changed bedsheets. And today we used a totally different colour already. Cuz i always changed between 2 sets nia, which are both bloody red as well. hehehe. i like ma. look more romantic. But hubby said its time to change light colour, mayb better for fengshui. (-_-) And this is the colour i detest most, blue!!!! cb. but, ever since i got Jayr, i have tried to accept blue already.Every night before Hubby turn in, he will come to me and kiss me goodnight. Last night as usual he came over, but did something outta sudden. He kissed my tummy and said "baby, goodnight." I sat up, "shut up la! last time u also did this den i kena bb. this time i dun wan it so soon la pls." he laughed,"hahaha, goodnight twins... goodnight ah boy, ah girl.... hahaha..." nabeh. i know he love to have more but not the right timing ma. i will give him more once we settle our butts there. but not twins!!! so pls stop pressing me ok... Jayr alone is good enough to make us busy.so tired. im gonna tuck in soon. fever subsided. but tummy still growling. now den i realise that i must stay healthy for the sake of Jayr. Everything for them.But not me.
. Y
Fetched my mobile back from "hospital" yesterday. Finally i can hear its beautiful melodies. And finally i have my "camera", like after so long! Hubby complaint bcuz they said they would give us a call when its ready, but they didnt! they made us waited for so many days, and in fact when that person on the phone checked, she said, "it was ready on last friday! why din u come and collect?!" thats when hubby started ^#$%&$@! serve them right. I thought i have finally found a bestest blogskin, but in the end when i tried editing, it turned out error again!!! wtf. Why? why all the skins i eyed on have all sorts of problems? Either colume went wrong, picture never appear, or background totally different from the example. sibeh nabeh.Im down with fever, diarrheoa, flu and headache. So what? No "mc", cant rest, still got to handle Jayr alone and do some chores. feeling so "xin ku". Just feel like crying. u know? like a lil girl who needs her blanket and some hugs and comfort.Jayr is a very naughty boy. Shouldn't buy him the expensive walker, cuz he just destroyed all the toys on it, by plucking out one by one, and den bite and threw around. He has got 4 teeth now. He ate 1/4 of cheese and bread of my sandwich this morning. Ever since he know how to stretch out his arms and ask for baobao, he always do that. cannot rest lor! Hubby started to be strict on him by not carrying him when he wanted, or raise his voice a lil when Jayr was mischevious. I very heartpain and even argued with Hubby at first, den he scolded me too and said if i continue to spoilt him this way, den dun regret when he grow up and turn worst. hai. He is only 6 months old, but behaves like 1 yr kid, thats y kena scolding, see liao also heartpain ma. He can crawl already. Sit up already. Eat semi solid food. Call papa and mama. And say some words. Very scary hor? noone believes untill they see it with their own eyes. and someone thought my son is like her 9 months old baby, and she said my baby lousy den hers cuz mine dunno how to eat rice still. fuck u! and i reminded her that they are 3 months different, den she realised that my baby is already very amazing at 6 months old. cheebye. i really hate ppl who criticised my son. who doesnt? but its when she said it, and u still have to "respect" her bcuz she is ur elder. wtf.Sometimes we will like go to Hubby's godmum's house for dinner. Like once a month or once a few months. And den recently we gotta know that she went around telling ppl that we always go her house and eat for free as if we very poor like tat. motherfucker! never go den called and nagged hubby said why we so long never go. Went liao den said we were like beggers going around for food! wtf! why?! why his side relatives all got this cheebye mouth. the last time was last week, and den happened that another auntie was there too. Den while having dinner, the auntie asked her why never took out the other dish in kitchen? Den his godmum shot her that look, like as if asking her to shut up. Not we were so keen of eating their food ok? she called to ask us there and den gave us fucked up attitude! why? i dun get it! we swear we wont go there anymore, even if she calls. And also if one day we have nothing to eat, we will also dun eat den allowing her to have the chance to sprout nonsense. This reminds me of asshole again. Like i inform somebody that i wanted to invite her to my wedding, and that asshole just called me begger and maligned me for nothing. And even told me not to invite somebody. hai. whatever la. shit ppl will be with shit ppl. I dun give a damn. if somebody din say anything bad bt me, den asshole wont even use her name to humilate me as well. whatever. she gave me that shit and she will receive more shits. She better pray hard that she and her man wont see me outside! knn. old fat ass.im so sick of everything. Human are selfish and ridiculous. i wish them luck.wish them enjoy their karma.wish them enjoy their retribution, for messing with me. i know.surely must have created unreal stories bt me.like how they did to each other.whatever.just.............................GO AND DIE!
.Sunday, October 19, 2008 Y
I have found new "clothe" for my dear bloggy.wanna wait for Hubby to reach home and tell me whether should i or should not.Tomo will be hubby's off day.Got this kinda gut feeling that "somebody" will not be working as well.So its either we get outta this house till late night,or i will have to suffer the hell shit more.So hungry. Have cravings but no money.So rather not to think too hard."where are the photos???!!!!"I wanna upload but sad thing is that my cell have been "hospitalised" and till dunno when den i can fetch it back, u see. And den i feel so paralyse without my phoney. wth. yea. still reachable cuz hubby was "kind" enough to lend me his "lau pok gai" LG super basic phone. nabeh. sms difficult, no games, no songs, ringtone maciam the old school's da ge da. rrrrinnnggg rrrriiiiinnnnggg!!!!! super malu to flash it in public. So i often put it in silent mode. the motherfucker Sony Ericsson haven call me yet! and den whenever i got the urge and special moments which i wanna take down, i have no bloody camera! video cam is so troublesome la. so din dei. hai... i do wish i will have a nice pinkish irresistable camera. hope nia. Anyway, channel 5 showing Mr and Mrs Smith now..Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. perrrrrfect!Watched-ed-ed but i wanna watch again can?Ok. miss me more. Hubby said tonight we will have drinking session again.heeeeeheeeee :p
.Saturday, October 18, 2008 Y
Fucked day. Fucked up thing. Fucked up mood.why? why? why?Today is Saturday, and im at home, doing same things.All blogskins are ugly. Nice ones got bloody error.Im sleepy. Im hungry. Im bored.Suddenly got this urge. Very outta sudden.So long never do that.... hai.What? Ktv lah!!!I need to sing my lungs out man!imma mini pro. hahahaha~Everything is really getting bored. Very tiring.But do i have other better choice?
.Friday, October 17, 2008 Y
Just went to wash milk bottle, den nearly puke when i smelled the disgusting rotten smell. wat the fuck. dunno waht rotten thing they kept there again. nabeh. Really can die, if i continue to stay here longer. arrrrggh!Jayr is napping now. phew~I can like fold my clothes in peace. I was doing that half way, den he crawled so fast that he nearly fell off from bed. wa lau. Luckily my reaction was fast enough. His 2 legs were like out of bed liao and body still managed to clinged onto bed. Ppl say from 5-6 months, babies will learn to turn over or learn to sit up with support. But my son is learning to crawl now! He can sit when he was only 3+ months. Anyway, he is crawling faster and faster. Is like i cannot even use 3 seconds to drink a sip of water. I wanna put him in walker, but bcuz he just bathed and i dun wan him to sweat again. see la, really not easy to manage. Like this also wrong, like that also not right. ohwell, he fell off from bed once. i was so guilty, even untill now. That happened bcuz i didnt know that he could actually turn over liao, and can even shift himself about. So after that incident, den i know, oh, my boy can turn and move about already! he got a baluku from that fall. But soon after i carried him up, he started smiling and squealing. (-__-") hai... this lil brat really dunno what is pain huh? bua tahan him. Doctor and nurse said he is so brave cuz he never cry after every injections. lol.Anyway, i have something juicy and dirty to share. hee.thanks to **** for the links. (cannot mention the name when talking bt dirty stuffs. cuz i dun wan others to misunderstand her.)U can anyhow judge me la. I dun care. cuz i am always so straight forward and blogs about anything and everything. So, are u interested anot? hmmm....Should i?Let me consider.Hahahahaha!hook u high high, and let u anticipate for awhile ba!
.Thursday, October 16, 2008 Y
2nd entry of the day.Boring day, obviously.Jayr finally went into dreamland, and i am waiting for the washing machine to finish it's job. Wat a tai tai am i? so "ku ming". Housechores, babysitting, serving my lord... Like everyday so busy. And nothing has got to do with me, myself. wth. Ppl like my age, are either enjoying their clubbing lifestlye or enjoying their courtships. Earning their own money and spending like nobody's business. How much i envy, u know?I have to stay at home, look after bb, pay 100% attention on him cuz he is super active now. Panic when he's sick or uncomfortable. Always look at the clock and making sure that he have his milk on time, cuz i dun wan him to have the feel of hunger. Tahan the smell when he shits. Clean up the mess. Can only do my chores when he sleeps. And den when i finally done with everything and wanna lie down awhile to rest, he woke up and started his adventures again. arrrrgh! and den when he finally sleeps again, i wanna rest again, hubby came home. And den i have bring him clean clothes and towel. Get him food if he's hungry. Make tea for him. bla bla bla... arrrrgghhhh!!!!When is the time i can finally lay down on bed and shut my eyes for long hours!!!!??Nabeh.Just when i was about to explode. The laughters of Jayr's brighten me up!I wonder can he feel my overwhelming love for him, and for this family. Mayb he is too young to understand what is love. But i do hope when he grow up, he will feel it and appreciate whatever i have done for him and for this family. I have loss alot alot alot of things in life.For Hubby,i have drifted away with many closed friends and once important ppl in my life. I have choosen to not to heed their advices and came back to him. I chosed love among other things. Till now, i still dunno am i really wrong by doing these? I even dun care what shits they talked behind my back. And i even got accused and cursed by some asshole. I am very sad cuz i miss a few of them. i miss those days, those activities. I know very well that even if one day we are back to talking term, things will never be the same anymore. Cuz i have tried talking already, but.... However, i am still glad that i have him as my husband. The love he has for me, is really unbeatable. anyway, i will still have them in my heart. true love is so rare and so precious. i wont let it slip away because of someone whom will never be with me forever. selfish me. sorry.For Jayr,i have gave up many things i once adored. make ups, apparels, shoes, handbags, facials, ktv, smoking, drinking, clubbing, late nights, vulgarities, working, freedom, figure, image.Well, all these are worthwhile. And i hope he will never let me down. I never ask for more, i just wan him to study well, stay healthy, behaves good, right mindset, kind and caring. No matter what, he is always my dearest son. I told hubby that day,"pls make me feel that all my sacrifices are worthwhile. dun make me feel that i am a fool and i have choosen the wrong path, wrong man. I dun wan to let those who have cursed me to think they were right by saying that. we know very well that we love each other so much. just tat we are still so weak at controlling our emotions at times. dun take me for granted when i have learn to remain silent for the sake of avoiding more arguement........"Ya. to those smart aleck who think u are so smart by "predicting" and "advised" me by cursing us and our marriage, i tell u now that this marriage is as strong as hard rock! bcuz we have been thru so much and overcome so much without u knowing. Im telling u that i am so sure that i will be the one whom sit back and watch u fall one day! because..... haha. u know nuts bt been honest to ur loved one.At the very least, we are smiling and laughing everyday. you?I will see ur karma playing with ur life soon. whatever.Hubby have already changed to a better person. More loving and caring. Towards me and our son. Even the fortune teller we often went to, said she can see more "love" in hubby's character. He told me to endure awhile more and give him more time. Ya. i will. Cuz i need time to change too. I wasnt tat good either. But now, i dare to say i am very nice person. hehehe. I am more tame, more quiet, more gentle, more loving, more kind, more thoughtful, more down to earth, more thrifthy. more know how to treasure and appreciate. But to those who have messed up my life or provoked me, i am still the evil Ines. ok. Hubby just called. he is coming home now. yea yea yea!shall end here and go collect those wet clothes.miss me more.Smile aplenty!
. Y
Haiya... Like i shouldn't put my bloggy's url on FB. damn.I have something in mind, but i cant blog it here anymore.Think i have to change my url eh?Mayb, till then when i've think of a better one.Last night went Ikea to have our dinner. i had my favourite pouched salmon and chicken wings. hee. And den went Giant to get Jayr's milk powder. no diapers offer or what, so didnt buy. Anyway, he has got enough to use untill next month. Like seriously, its really good to talk things out when u having problem. We are so much better. Not that we were bad, but because of "somebody", we became so tensed. Like there was something kiap in between us. damn her, really. p/s: those who not sure, its not another 3rd party. just one old hag lah.Anyway, he loves me and i love him. very much! hehehehe.Jayr is like covering his head, and crawling on bed. (-_-")Dunno what he's doing. bua tahan him.ninja turtle??? lol!!!Just now when he woke up, i went over to greet him and kiss him.He stretched out his arms and said, "ma...... bao bao bao...."sob sob sob....Im so touched can!All these hardships worth it.Jayr is the one and only person that will make me angry at this sec and den make me laugh again right after that sec. silly boy.I am smiling everyday, ever since the day he was borned. I am less an angry person, ever since the day i have him.Haiya, what is a family when it wasn't even completed with having ur own precious creation?
.Wednesday, October 15, 2008 Y
Today is hubby's off day too, but we intend to stay at home and rot all the way.Watch DVDs, play with Jayr, nap, eat, drink, everything wat a pig does. hahaha.Well, dunno why i have updated my new FB already. Thou i've mentioned that its merely for pet society nia. lol. anyway, have added a few more ppl. Haiya, who else? YCKSS's lor!Updates still not complete. wait wait. We have filled up the bar frisge with loads of sinful thing. hur hur.Chocolates and more chocolates. Soft drinks, juices, milk.and cake!_____________________________Anyway, we have a long talk yesterday.I said out all my frustration.Not that he is to blame, but i have to let him know.Cuz i wan him to know what i am facing each day.I dun wanna suffer in silent anymore.He is good. He is very good.But, i was the one who kept finding excuses to leave here.Why?Cuz this is really not an ideal environment for bb.And also i cant and dun wan to tolerate these shits here.I wan him to leave with me. He said ok.But, in the end, thinking of the travelling to work,hai..... have to compromise him again.to stay here and endure more shits.Anyway, after yesterday's talk,we are better. i mean i feel better.Cuz i dun wan him to listen to one sided story."somebody"!!!!fucked up.OK...Be back soon.Love all!
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Sorry!Kinda busy recently...Will be back soon...Gimme some more time ok.Love ya all!Charlene's mama misses me already!!!Wahahahahaha!
.Monday, October 13, 2008 Y
My cellphone is dying very soon... real soon.Ask me why everytime kena such thing?I dunno. damn it.Either sony ericsson is getting jialat or i am too suay.Plus my adorable boy loves to play with it among everything, despite he has got loads of toys. (-_-)Bb hands are getting "itchy". Loves to meddle around, grab things, reach for things, snatch things from you... Bua tahan. And these few days he has started to scream or make any loud funny noise. Early in the morning somemore. wa lau. lol.And also, now when he wan us to carry him, he will stretch out both arms to hint u. Or, to me only, he will make the "pass motion" sound to sort of call me and ask me to carry him. Kao! i know i look like shit la. lol.And, when he saw me making cereal, he will like "walk" over to me with arms stretch out and the mouth keep mouthing "mmmmummm... muummm..." when i said walking means in baby walker.He is able to sit up and play with toys. But after some time when he's tired, he just lay down like tat. Without checking is there anyone behind him to support him. lol. He has got 2 teeth, so far. Remember that time i told u bt the BHG sale? and we bought alot of clothes for bb? ya. I even chosed L size which are meant for 1 yr and above. and also purposely chosed 2yrs' old clothes for his casual house wear. Guess what? The L sized ones are like tight fitting and think can only last for 1 month or so. And the 2 yrs ones are like just nice or abit abit abit big nia. think also cannot last till 1 yr old. lol. This brat really can hold fashion show soon. Every 2-3 months must start buying clothes for him. Ar bo, when he go out he has got no nicer one to wear. And den everytime i even chosed much bigger ones for him, and yet cannot last long. bua tahan. Even doctor would ask me questions like "what formula u give him?", "what other thing u fed him other den milk?", "do you still breastfeed him?", "how many oz of milk u give him and how many hourly?"......... Actually all very normal what! How u parents feed ur child, i does the same way too. Somemore, i think u ppl give ur child porridge already, but i haven lor. So i dunno. lol. Maybe his body can absorb all nutrients and fats easily. lol! oh btw, 10kg!!! A sack of rice
Thats my boy. 6 months+.
Later, the bar fridge will arrive. better still, arrive when "somebody" left already. i dun wanna see her at all. pretence is what i hate most! and i wont even bother to cooperate with her.
Early in the morning burnt joss papers right outside my window. Den all of us got choked by the smoke, thus woke up like that.
Government said u have to go downstairs to do it, not at the corridor!!!
And if u are too lazy, den pls shut my window before doing tat!
Lazy lazy lazy!!!
In all ways! in everyway!
Eat lazy anot? shit lazy anot?
damn.
i wanna try and i wan to not mention her in my blog anymore. dirty my precious blog nia. arrrrrgh! and everytime i would get angry just like tat. so, stop it!
Anyway anyway anyway, i've got nothing in mind now.
Mayb later i will be back? dunno.
Or mayb some other day ba...
smile aplenty :)
.Sunday, October 12, 2008 Y
The long awaited HLE letter came last night.Our HLE request has been approved.Thanks god!And also it says we are eligible for purchase of all flat types. Thanks a million god!I have sms-ed the agent regarding this.Next week will be the 2nd appointment with the buyer.Thus, i hope very soon we can proceed with the house hunting.But the amount is so much lesser den everyone expected.Must be the motherfucker crisis again. So, if u ppl arent urgent at all, den i advise u not to rush into applying HLE or purchase house or even selling. Very lugi.I lan lan lor......... cuz im very urgent to leave here!And btw, the bar fridge will arrive tomo afternoon. wth.so fast. i haven even finish with the packing up. Damn Hubby never wanna help. cb.but i know he will help tonight, cuz he has got no other choice!And ever since the Pet Society, both of us played till midnight den sleep.siao!and i have created another acct just to create another pet for myself!cuz hubby conquered peepoo!nabeh.But in the end, hubby said, "bb, u name ur pet as mama, i'll change mine to papa."lol. so childish, i know. but i like can?!and also he gave me all the things and he wanna start from zero items. funny man.Btw, all pet owners, pls add me at jackinesquek@hotmail.comim not being bias.but that acct is really empty and meant for pet society nia.lol.join us la!
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Im actually very lonesome in life.Or maybe i actually have no much ppl in life.Besides Hubby's off days, im actually all alone. Noone to talk to.Nobody to joke with.Noone to eat with me.Noone.Ya, i've got Jayr. But i need an adult to talk with, to understand me.I need to feel that someone will be there for me.I need this assurance.Men doesnt make a good listener.And their opinion usually arent what we women concur.But if he would just try to be there or listen up,i wont feel such a depressing way now.Well, actually, i dunno what to voice out either.Its something. There's something in me that trying to ruin my mood each day.Many factors.Im alone.No family to go back to.Penniless.Helpless.Losing confidence.Everyday doing the same things.Im tired.I cant tolerate this unhygenic environment.I cant tolerate the stinky smell.I cant tolerate the amount of dusts.I need my man to hear me out.I need him to caress me more.I need someone to treat me babyish like my dad did.So what?nothing will ever go my way.I felt so useless. so helpess. so selfless.I have sacrficed so much. Done so much. Given so much.But why i received none?I've never ask for repay,but at the very least,stop all my sufferings.I love Hubby.I wanna him to love me wholeheartedly.I love Jayr.I wanna him to know i love him very much.I swear upon my life that i will not let Jayr to go thru what i've been thru.I will never treat him like how my mum treated me.I will never leave him in lurch.I will forever cherish him, caress him, love him, provides for him, teach him, tolerate him untill the day i lay in coffin.I swear upon my life again that i will never betray my love for Hubby.I will never treat him the way my mum mistreated my dad.I will never betray his love for me. I will forever be his lawful wife. Dutifully love him, serve him, obey him, caress him, give him, tolerate him and be there for him till the day i reach the other side of the world. Even if you leave first, i'll still continue to be ur lawful and dutiful wife. "I'll meet u when my chores are thru. i dunno how long i'll be. But im not gonna let you down. Darling wait and see. And between now and then, till i see you again, i'll be loving you.... Love me..."However, if, im saying if.If our love dies even before we aged, and if u're gonna betray my love and fuck around,all these swears will just vanish into thin air and never able to retrieve back.This is a fair game.U love me, i'll love u more.U fucked up my love, i'll fucked up ur life.Im just a very insecure timid girl inside.
.Saturday, October 11, 2008 Y
A feeling that i've been losing myself for some time.I have to smile, eventhough i din feel like smiling.I have to sing, eventhough i felt like shutting up.I have to move, eventhough i felt like lying as a corpse.I, like everyone else, does need some time for myself.I need to hide in my shell; to be myself for awhile.But, i have none.No time for myself; no time to be myself.Im with this crazy insanity again.I just couldn't help it.I have too much to think.Too much to worry.Too much to handle.Too little time for me.No family with me.No friends.Apart from all these...I am still happycontentedblissfulblessedto have such a sweet family of my own.However,i still feel somewhat empty inside...
.Friday, October 10, 2008 Y
No better idea of what to blog lately.Anyway, Jayr has a new baby walker :)Hubby spent $89 on it. Initially said dun need to buy so good one, but in the end when he saw bb was so excited with the best one, den he immediately told the sales girl to get him a new one for that. And no matter how i protested, he insisted on getting it. Bb so hao ming!And its time to clean up and dump and clear a space for the new bar fridge.Hubby die die also wan to get a bar fridge in the room. wth.Cuz, "somebody" have never ever clean the fridge, and den thus, whenever u opened the fridge's door, the rotten smell will start flowing in air again. yes, there are alot of rotten things inside. eek right? ya, i know. And everytime when Hubby said wanna buy chocolates, ice cream or cakes, i would stop him, cuz i knew he will have to keep them in fridge, and den when u take out again, the food always stinks like hell! So, he said, in order to make sure i can eat whatever i wan and keep some babies food too, he have decided to get a bar fridge. with freezer somemore. lol.Dunno when is it arriving. still waiting for the call.And i also need to get one slowcooker, in order to cook porridge for Jayr. their pots and pans all either have stubborn stains or crockroches' shits or lizards' shits. they can jolly well use it but not me! and of cuz not for my son!see the difficulties im facing each day?im really in shitty life.shitty place.shitty environment.I need my house quick!!!!But, bloody HDB just sms-ed Hubby yesterday that they have just proceed our HLE request. wth!!! I know this surely has got something to do with the US crisis. Damn it. Why must it suay suay happened when i wanna buy house?!Chao Chee Bye!Nabeh!!!!!!!!!!!!Just how long more do i have to tolerate this shit here?and that bloody agent have yet call me to view house. cb.September, everything went on smoothly.October, turned shitty again!Nabeh.
.Tuesday, October 7, 2008 Y
Just let me rant...An hour more before Hubby reach home. Miss him so much... Its been a long torturing day though... Torturing as in without him around. hmm...At times i do suspect that im suffering this insanity in me. Like one moment im so normal, another moment i would be ranting and cursing like a lunatic. Or mayb being a woman, it is absolutely alright to be so tempremental kind? No?But, all i need, is someone to love me wholeheartedly, cares alot, pampered me, treat me babyish, never stop romanticizing with me, and prove me there is really something called "eternity love". However, as the longer the marriage goes on, somehow i feel that couples are still together is not because of the strong love they once shared, is because of something called "obligation". 2 are attached together because there are these binding promises. Or one feels that he/she has this debt of gratitude towards another. Noone wants this kind of relationship. I dun wan someone to pity me, because im homeless and imma orphan.I dun wan someone to feel in debt to me because i have sacrifices alot or i have given birth to our child. I dun wan someone to be with me because i have a property.I dun wan all of these!Well, its somehow inevitable for me to think it such a way. I am all alone now. No "niang jia" to go back to.No money. No job.No soulmate to confide to . No nothing. I have to tell myself to stay alert and beware of everything. I have to protect myself. I have to plan everything ahead. Because i have a son with me now.Everything has changed. I cant just go ahead and do anything i wan. I have to think thrice for Jayr's sake. Eventhough, no matter what..... u know...At the end of the day, those "eternity long lasting love" marriage is very rare.Many stays, because of kids, because of reliability, because of nowhere-to-go...I will never stay, if one day he have a change of heart and new preference for new woman... This is one thing that i can never ever endure. Dirty way: I dun wanna share a stained cock!Ok. shall end here.Gotta make this clear that this has got nothing to do with my marriage or my man. Just some random thoughts. Told you im mad. waiting for hubby to come home still.he told me he will buy my favourite food back. and he told me there will be desserts too.hmmm....Though at times i grumbles alot, but deep inside my heart, i love him alot alot alot that i think i love him more den he loves me. hee. Ok. Bye.Note: this is 2nd post of the day.
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Wooooooo!I hit my 200 posts yesterday.And today, see i've told you that bloody pc will die on me again! arrgh! anyway, it have served us for 2 days. not bad huh? My EQ has seems to be so unbalanced nowsaday. Why? dunno.So many moods in a day. can just call me mad.Whatever. However, luckily i have got Jayr with me to brighten my day with his smile and laughters. and also to see how much he have learnt, definitely makes me so happy.Have you try the Mac's wasabi fillet'o'fish meal?I've tried.The shaker fries ok la, not very power. But the burger alone can burst my nose!and my eyeballs almost pop out. lol!Mayb u think im over-exaggerating, but that was really that ok!Or mayb im just too weak on wasabi.How much i misses the seaweed shaker fries.I remembered that i ate alot of that during preggy. No wonder so fat. so when is it coming back on popular demand again?!*tummy growling*Im so hungry now. feel like calling for mac delivery. hee. for the sake of fries. how damn is that!Im like missed alot of dramas lately. hell lots!no time la. if i have the time i would rather sleep.and i have missed alot of msn-ing!really no time la. hai...oh, btw, did i tell u peeps bt a sad/good news???the flithy dog is dead. (-_-)serious! im not joking!and was on the day i went xinyi's house.im lucky enough to shun. otherwise, imagine that im at home alone with Jayr and den suddenly have the nature urgency, and den stepped outta room and see a dead corpse?!!! no way!But how funny, when "somebody" said she din know untill FIL came home. how was that possible at all! really abit fishy here. moreover it died at the main door there, and we she came home from downstairs, she surely would see that ma. or, mayb that time the dog haven die. But den, still impossible she dunno. Cuz the dog puked alot with blood somemore. Unless, as usual, the lazy her cooped up in room laying on bed for entire day lor!I was confused. sad, cuz something was dead. Happy, cuz not so smelly and noisy anymore. _____________________________Anyway, im hungry already. what should i do bt that?anyway, last night.............................C-R-A-Z-Y!
.Monday, October 6, 2008 Y
This fucking pc is functioning again.Better dun die on me again, i warn you!And the screen is darn big that my bloggy seems so empty on this screen.hmm... its abt time to look for new and better looking layout.And like, i have trouble typing fast and proper, y cuz this keyboard and tat lappy's are different. So difficult to adjust u know... wth.Looks like i can go back to my Sims2 again!!!yea yea yea~!However, no msn here, thus i'll have to on lappy too lor. Anyway, im going yo game awhile on Pets society, before Jayr wakey!
Jacky's Wife