.Thursday, August 14, 2008 Y
Today Jayr is so naughty. So naughty untill that i put him down and watched him cry. (actually he cried for nothing. no tears) Den he kept looking at me and pretended so pitiful like that. hai. dunno where he learnt all these from. Tomo we will be bringing him for jab. again. poor thing right. dunno which bastard set this rule for these babies. why must jab? why cant take orally? when i see that bastard i will poke him many many times with huge needles! (dun think i will get to see him/her anyway.)Dunno why. I think i got problem with me. As in i got problem for s**. Cuz i just feel like crying out of sudden. and i totally cant get aroused no matter how. why? mentally illed, i think. too much misery that brought me this, perhaps. (i just feel like hidding in the wardrobe.)I know i have said that i have photos that not yet uploaded. Haa. and its now tons of it! really tired to do so. im so sick. soooo emotionally sick. My wound hurts alot. And its like from inside out. dunno what's wrong. think i have no enough rest. and also bb is getting heavier. really.... no joke. Doctor said i must go back to my gynae. but i dun wan. cuz i know somehow, they will ask me to stay for observation. cannot! if i have to stay den what abt Jayr? cannot... as long as i can still endure the pain, i will not go. (Jayr, u know mummy xin ku anot.)this time round, i told myself not to soft hearted again. not talking bt him, but another person. cuz, i just felt that i am being used and thats not what friends are for right? i mean, dun just appear whenever u in need or have something to announce. what abt me? when i am so miserable and need someone to help me out, where is a single soul? i really gave up long ago already. we are done and dun think i owe u anything anymore. fair. and simple thing like, i ONLY need an listening ear but not asking u to appear immediately here for me. so difficult right? den for ur info, i think its very difficult for me to do any more things for u. oh, and i am very busy with my son too. soooo busy can. arrrgh. whatever. i have said what i need to say. i would rather spend all my attention for someone whom appreciates and i rather call someone whom will pick up my call and i rather meet up with someone whom really very keen to meet me and listen to what i've got to say. cuz everyday i've been kept in this room with noone to talk to. therefore i seriously need somebody to talk to me or give me some pathetic attention. otherwise i can go crazy for sure. and thats how i got post nantal blues, if u not know. Well, i so wish that this month pass faster cuz i wanna go out. i dun wan to stay here everyday with nobody care. i am going insane!
Jacky's Wife