.Thursday, April 10, 2008 Y
Im seriously in a bad bad mood. I dunno why!!!I have been crying like for almost everyday. Im so lost, u know. i mean i just cant use words to expain to you specifically la. I dun wan to stay here. I dun wan to do this torturing confinement. I dun wan to eat these yucky food. I dun wan to not being able to BATH!!!Thats totally ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Hubby took out the bandage thing for me already. And for so many hours already i still dare not stand up and walk to the mirror and take a good look at the scar. I dunno how to accept the fact that i have this ugly scar on me. And i dun wan to rmb a single thing during the time in operation theatre. Everyday these scary images would flash in my mind. It returns to taunt me again and again. I really dare not have a second baby anymore. i never wan to give birth anymore. eventhough Hubby said he still wan more... i told him, i dare not....I wan to bath. i wan to wash my smelly hair. i wan to get out from here and to somewhere air conditioned.My boobs are leaking like mad. Dunno wats so nice bt it, but Jayr just loves to drink. eeks! Doctor says hes growing fast and healthily. So can increase his milk intake. Which i have already done so. otherwise we cant rest! I have many many many pictures of him. But hubby still haven upload for me. so mayb one fine day u will see all in one shot bah.I miss my daddy. Does he know that he is an ah gong now?I WAN TO BATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jacky's Wife